


Black Out

by DivineVarod



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Caretaking, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-27 18:30:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8411980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DivineVarod/pseuds/DivineVarod
Summary: When Rimmer tries to tell Lister his drinking is out of control the Scouser isn't happy.-----Short written for Alcohol Awareness Month 2015 #Alcoholismisnojoke





	

Rimmer lay curled up in his bunk, wishing desperately that Lister would shut up. His head was pounding so much it felt as if the Red Dwarf railway circuit was using it as a new route. He had started the conversation at the earliest and usually best moment possible – just after Lister's early morning “steadying” drink.  
It had been another one of those nights and he just couldn't take it any-more. Lister was out of control and something had to be done. For Lister's sake, for his sake, for the crews sake and because whether he liked it or not: it was his duty.

It had turned into an eight hour unrelenting domestic. Not before long Rimmer's migraines begun to stir and now after hours of trying to make Lister understand and even longer hours of hearing Lister scream things like “I'm not an alcoholic, drinking just makes me feel better”, and “My drinking is my problem. I’m the one it hurts, so no one has the right to tell me to stop,” they had become cripling. But the argument just didn't stop. On and on it went until Rimmer's legs buckled beneath him and he crawled into his bunk, any fight he had left drained away. He felt paralysed, as if he'd been emotionally beaten to a pulp.  
His brain was shutting down – he could hear Lister go on and on but the words did not register any-more. All he knew was that he must have gotten it wrong again and tears ran down his face.  
While Lister got more and more worked up, Rimmer silently wept. Then, just as suddenly there was silence, Rimmer didn't even notice, until he felt a hand on his shoulder.  
  
“Rimmer?” Lister said, his voice now soft. “Smeg, ya crying. I'm so sorry man.”

* * *

Dave Lister was beginning to get worried about himself. All he could remember was drinking his morning lager – nothing strong – and apparently he'd been shouting at Rimmer for the next few hours.

He'd stopped when he saw the man cowering in his bunk in tears, unsure of what happened or what had actually caused the argument.

“It's ... okay. I ... I must have got it wrong again.” Rimmer mumbled shakily.

 _“What? What did you get wrong? I don't even smegging remember!!”_ Lister thought panicked.

“I'm just worried about you Listy. I ... I'm scared you're taking too much of that stuff.”

 _“That was all? I was shouting at him for showing concern? What the smeg?!”_ Lister quickly wrapped his arms around Rimmer. _“How did he get so thin?”_ He wondered.

“I was out of line here Rimmer, I don't know why I went off on you like that. You alright?”

“Just glad you're not angry any-more.”

The Hologram felt limp in his arms his voice sounded powerless and all the attitude that made him Rimmer was absent. Lister realised that it had been gone for a long time. He wanted his Rimmer back. But what if he'd been the one that broke him in the first place? The missing hours, Rimmer changing into a wreck before his very eyes, the bruises, the strange glances from Cat and Kryten ...

Lister carefully but firmly grabbed Rimmer by the shoulders and made him look at him. Wait! Was that a flinch? Rimmer flinched when he touched him? This was wrong!

“Rimmer, please, I'm begging ya, tell me: am I the one that's hurting you?” A pale face and dull unfocussed eyes stared back at him.

“Smeg!” Lister said again feeling awful, knowing that there was something wrong.

“Rimmer, please. What is going on?”  
  
Rimmer frowned at him in clear surprise.

“You mean you ... really don't know?”

“Honest.”  
  
Rimmer was quiet for a moment, then he sighed and seemed to brace himself.

“Please don't drink anything when I tell you.”

The fear in Rimmer's voice and eyes when he said that took Lister's breath away. What had he been doing?

* * *

Lister felt as if the universe could swallow him whole when Rimmer had explained everything that had happened. He knew he had been drinking more lately, but he'd never realised just how much his behaviour was affecting his friends. Especially Rimmer whom, apparently, had been staying up every night with him, trying to keep him out of harms way. He had, in turn, repaid his friends care by insulting him, shouting at him and even being violent . The worst thing was that he had no memory of any of this.

After finally revealing the truth to Lister, Rimmer seemed drained and asked him if it was okay if he slept a while. Lister nodded unsure of what to say. Right now if Rimmer had asked him if he could saw of his leg because he needed it he'd have agreed and offered him the other gladly with the amount of guilt he felt.

* * *

For a few minutes or maybe longer Lister sat at their table quietly, thinking. He could not believe what had happened. What was worse was that he just couldn't recall any of it, it was a blur.  
Why had Rimmer put up with it for so long? Why had any of them put up with it?

He heard rustling coming from the bunk and looked up; It was Rimmer who was shivering in his sleep. He quickly covered him with his duvet and switched on the electrical blanket. Not knowing why he then softly stroked his hair and whispered:  
   
“I'm so sorry Rimmer.”

He would change, he swore. This was the last person he wanted to be. From this day onwards Dave Lister was a tea total. Well, except for the occasional lager ...


End file.
